Hats and other things

An unusual thought awoke me early this morning. I rolled over, looked at the clock, and buried my head in my pillow with a disgusted sigh.

Three AM. And I’m thinking about President Trump.

Well, really…I’m thinking about The Hat. The hat that Brad Parscale says has netted the Trump campaign over forty five million dollars.

How many versions of that hat have you seen? Different fonts, different cap styles. The cut of Kanye’s red MAGA cap is very different than the one you see on the president himself. I have to believe there are knockoff ballcaps out there. If that’s the case..those hats aren’t generating cash for the re-election campaign.

And, depending on who you believe, Trump’s campaign needs the cash.

I’m in Columbus, Ohio — home of The Ohio State University, an entity famously protective of their trademarks, and even articles. They’ll happily go after anyone hawking OSU goods if they aren’t tagged with the official hologram as if it’s an old pack of Upper Deck baseball cards.

My travels often take me into surrounding rural areas. Just in the past week, I’ve stopped in several gas stations pushing Trump gear — none of it looking like it’s officially produced by the campaign. No joke, I spotted a gas station selling yard signs with a graphic of Calvin pissing on Nanci Pelosi. That’s a double trigger for trademark lawyers.

There’s no way those signs — nor the “Trump/Pence 2020: No More Bullshit” flags being sold out of the back of a clapped-out GMC conversion van on the side of the highway — are officially licensed. The campaign is likely getting nothing other than a misplaced show of enthusiasm from these unauthorized merch peddlers.

This is one thing I look forward to come the end of the Trump presidency, whenever it might be: DJT, whether from his porch at Mar-A-Lago or from his cell at Rikers Island, filing intellectual property suits against every one of these pop-up vendors. A final post-presidential fuck-you from the guy who hates everyone who loves him.

Three AM. Dammit. I really need to cut off my coffee intake earlier in the evening.